|nothing much happening
||[Apr. 8th, 2004|08:14 pm]
Haven't updated my journal for months!! HEY EVERYONE!!
Sooooo let's see, where to begin? My last journal was about Matt, so I'll start there. He's a jerk. That's it. We're still friends, but we don't hang around each other much anymore and have our own lives now. He likes to keep up with my life though, make sure he knows everything I do. Amy, a friend on my floor, and I always complain about him to each other. She knows everything that happened between me and Matt, so it's easy to talk to her about it all. We both think he's a jerk for using me. I get annoyed at him easily now.
At the KGB Livermore show, Matt went with his girlfriend and saw Toby and me talking, so ever since then, he's all of the sudden acting like we were before I got mad at him and all.. like we both still like each other or something. I guess he got a little jealous seeing me talking to Toby and the other guys in the band and is trying to get me back or something. It's kind of funny. hehe So easy to get to him!
Saw Toshiko a lot during Spring Break! Loved that! I've missed her so much! We both have guys in our lives now, so we're having fun talking about that kind of stuff, FINALLY! That was the one bad thing about being in an all girl school... have no idea what to do with guys, until now! :)
I've been going to Solemite's house more than I used to. I love their new house and I'm just having a lot more fun at shows lately. I guess I had gotten a little tired of them for a couple months last year... when I stopped going and Sarah would go instead. For some reason, they just didn't seem very appealing to me, but all of the sudden now, I'm LOVING them. I mean, I've ALWAYS loved Solemite and the KGB, but just didn't have fun. This time, I'm having the time of my life at the shows and at the party afterwards. Plus, maybe it's because I'm seeing Nora and Misha and Cassi and Jessie and Tanner and Daniel and Erin and Cody and EVERYONE again and I've missed everyone soooooooo much! :)
My roommate, Brittney, and I saw a very sad movie today in my "Creating a Meaningful Life" class. It was called "Tuesdays with Morrie" and was about a dying Professor teaching his old student the meaning of life and death. At the very end of it, he was talking about death and about best friends and about being able to say good bye, and both Britt and I weren't really thinking of being sad for the old man in the movie. Instead, we just thought about Kelly. She tapped me on the shoulder and whispered to me "I know you're thinking about Kell... I am, too" and I turned around to give her a smile but we both were having tears spilling out of our eyes. It's still hard once in awhile. I'll listen to a song and start bawling or just be by myself and think too much and start sobbing by myself. I then go find a hug somewhere on my floor. hehe
My friend, Philip, is the best friend I could ever have. I have such a huuuuge crush on him too. He's perfect. He's a wonderful guy. During Spring Break, my friends' friend died of lung cancer and it just hurt because all the pain from when Kell died came back and it was like double the pain almost for a couple days because I REALLY do NOT want my friends to feel that pain and I knew they were and I wanted to take it away from them. No one so young should die, first of all, and no one our age should feel that pain of losing someone too. It's so hard. So anyway, I called Philip that night hoping I could see him, but he was in Walnet Creek with friends, so he talked to me for like half an hour or so on the phone and then the next night he took me out to cheer me up. He's always there for me. I love him for it and love him for him. He's such a great guy. I'd totally like, marry him. hehe
That's my life right now. Nothing huge or anything. Going to go to the Solemite show this Saturday with Sarah! Can't wait! Love you, Sarah!!